I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
