nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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