apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
