I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
