Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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