she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
