i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
