Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
