ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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