I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize