im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
love makes seman taste better
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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