These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
