i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
