i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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