Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
3pm strippers are depressing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
