What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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