I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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