nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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