yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
