I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize