Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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