My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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