watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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