you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
