is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
