My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
only if we run a train.
done.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's get the cat blown out
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
