Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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