so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
