May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
