I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
