does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
