I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
