So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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