or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Blood and glitter go together right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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