I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize