Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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