forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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