He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize