After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
