And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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