There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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