ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
