Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
