i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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