Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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