I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
