Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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