What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
