HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
