I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
