i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
