Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
