Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
false alarm, still single
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
