I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
