conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
