Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize