ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
