I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
