omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize