Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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